Author: Brian Heinen

Friends, in this season of celebrating love, may we not forget the greatest love ever – the love our Heavenly Father has for us.  If you have not fully experienced the everlasting love of God that literally transforms us into brand new people, please message me.  I would love to tell you about it.

Speaking of love – Rebekah and Tim are married!  In all the wedding ceremonies I have been a part of, I never saw a bride glow like Rebekah.  I know Tim dearly loves his new bride.  What a joy to see two people brought together by Jesus!  They are now settling down to live together in New Jersey.  We miss them terribly, but are so thankful for all that Jesus has done in them and for them.

Victoria is working in an adjunct position at Russellville High School while she prepares for her own wedding in May.  Noah is now renting a home that he will share with Victoria after their special day.  Maria is continuing her studies at Arkansas Tech University’s elementary education program, which was recently recognized as one of the best programs in the country for teaching reading to students.  We are so proud of both of our soon-to-be teachers.

In the past few months, Leah and I survived the holidays, two graduations, a wedding, and having our oldest move away.  What joyous, exhausting experiences!  In addition to her mental challenges, her constant pain, her stomach ailments, her kidney disease, her fatigue, and having to put up with her husband, Leah is now possibly facing surgery for her arthritic knees.  Please pray for God’s healing touch and His sustaining grace.

I continue to wait for my appointment at the University of Arkansas Medical School.  My left foot has a deep wound that is slow to heal, so I am once again wearing a boot.  Someone mentioned to me that they feel bad that I can’t walk.  I can walk, but I do look a bit like Frankenstein’s monster when I do.  The boot further complicates matters.  Driving continues to be a challenge.  My hands are experiencing increasing pain.  I also am still waiting for my disability hearing.  Please pray for our Lord’s provision, as Leah cannot work and I have not worked since the beginning of last July.  We are praying for everything to work out for God’s glory!

May I also ask you to pray that God will reveal to me a little bit of what my future looks like?  I pray daily for complete healing so I can return to some type of employment and ministry.  Yet, I also pray for God’s strength and peace if the rest of my life includes the limitations I now face.  If I am not healed in the way I desire, what will my purpose be for the rest of my life?  I enjoy the growing opportunities I now have to spend time alone with God and to intercede for others.  Leah and I have more time to pray together.  Leah prays for hours throughout the night when she can’t sleep.  I am amazed by her intimacy with our Savior.  Now she can share a little of that with me.  Yet, is there something more we can do with our lives?  Please pray that God will give me wisdom for the days ahead.

I began this update focusing on love.  Once again, Leah and I need to express our gratitude for how God has showered His love upon us through His people.  The messages of encouragement keep our hearts strong and trusting in Jesus.  We even had a college friend go out of her way as she traveled cross-country to stop by to visit us.  People we have not had contact with for decades have reached out to us.  We are so blessed to have all of you in our lives!

Let me close with another reminder of God’s love for us.  What makes us understand the enormity of God’s love is when we comprehend the meaning of a little word called sin.  Sin is what keeps us from experiencing God’s love.  It is when we choose our independence instead of living lives submitted to the God of love who created us.  Because of our sin, we are unable to do what God says is right.  The Bible says we all fall short of God’s standard.  And because God is love, He sent His Son to do what we could never do.  Jesus lived a perfect life for us that we could never live.  He died a death we should have died to pay the penalty for our sin so we can live.  The righteous life of Jesus satisfied God’s requirements.  His resurrected life is a guarantee that all who accept His gift of forgiveness and new life will also live forever embraced by His love.  He offers His love to you.  Just receive it by trusting completely in all He has done for you.

If you have any questions about this, go to the “about” page of my website and view the “What is Christianity?” video.  Contact me using the information below.  Remember we pray for our family and friends!  Let us know how we can pray for you.

Brian

Brian Heinen, 802 East 23rd Street, Russellville, Arkansas, 72802
479-886-0765 brheinen1@gmail.com
Follow my journey on Facebook and Twitter.

God is so good!  The Arkansas Heinen clan is two days away from celebrating the marriage of Timothy Thorpe to Rebekah Heinen.  (We will have pictures in the next newsletter!)  Victoria and her fiance, Noah, are busy planning their May wedding.  Maria is back on campus and is enjoying her new semester at Arkansas Tech University.  God has blessed our children in such wonderful ways.

Our December was filled with holiday celebrations.  Maria and Rebekah directed the Christmas program at church.  They did a terrific job organizing the chaos that occurs when the majority of the actors are under the age of 6.  I have to admit, I have never seen the Christmas story presented like that before.

Between Christmas and New Year’s Day, Maria, Victoria, and Noah drove me to Wisconsin for the gathering of the Heinens for Christmas.  For the first time in fourteen years, all us kids were together, along with most of our family members.  It was a glorious time.  We then visited my mother and step-father before we made the 13-hour trip home.  I am so thankful to the kids for driving me home, especially as my own ability to travel is so limited and my parents are getting older.

Leah was not able to make trip.  Rebekah stayed with her and prepared for her wedding.  Leah recently had some good doctor visits.  Please pray for her to be strong enough to enjoy the wedding.

Daily, I face the limitations that come with decreased use of my feet/legs and hands/arms.  Yet, God continues to pour out His mercy and grace on every part of our lives.  One again, I need to thank all who have prayed for us and generously encouraged us over the past months.  God used you to daily renew our hope.  The Go Fund Me page our girls set up is being deactivated, but if any of you would like to help in the future, this web page has a PayPal button at the bottom of most pages.  Please pray that my disability hearing will be held soon.

I am spending time seeking God as to what my future ministry life looks like.  Please pray I will hear His voice.

We love you!  Please contact us as to how we can pray for you.

Brian

Brian Heinen, 802 East 23rd Street, Russellville, Arkansas, 72802
479-886-0765 brheinen1@gmail.com
Follow my journey on Facebook and Twitter.

May the Christ of Christmas fill your hearts with renewed wonder as you more fully realize who He is and all that He has done for you!

This past month has been one of incredible blessing. Victoria celebrated her 23rd birthday yesterday by conducting a few songs at the Dover High School Christmas concert. She completed her student teaching at Dover and will graduate from Arkansas Tech University this Saturday. Oh, yeah – she also got engaged to Noah Greenawalt! They anticipate a wedding sometime later in 2020.

Maria finished her first semester at ATU. She loves college and has yet to receive anything lower than an “A” at any level of her education. Rebekah graduated with her Master of Social Work degree. She is finishing plans for her January wedding to Tim Thorpe and is packing for her move to New Jersey right after the wedding. Leah continues to be the World’s Best Mom to her busy girls. Leah’s health challenges remain, but so does her rock-solid faith in her rock-solid Savior. My “severe axonopathic polyneuropathy” continues to progress, slowly making use of my hands more difficult as it also creeps up my legs. I am still in the long process of being approved for disabilty. Through my physical and financial struggles, I am once again forced to be completely dependent upon my Lord, and He constantly proves Himself faithful.

We are absolutely overwhelmed by the extremely generous help we received from family, friends, acquaintances, and even from a few strangers. We are deeply humbled and thankful. We are current in our house and car payments and have not had the lights turned off, even though I have not worked since July 1st. You have no idea how much peace your gifts have brought to our hearts. Your emails, cards, and messages daily give us courage to continue to trust the goodness of Jesus. God has given us all of you as a very special gift this Christmas season. We appreciate you! And may God bless you as you have blessed us!

The go fund me page the girls started is still active – https://www.gofundme.com/f/heinen-family-in-need. Again, thank you so much for blessing us with your gifts!

If you do not have a church home and live in the Arkansas River Valley, feel free to visit us at the Appleton Cumberland Presbyterian Church on December 22nd for our Christmas program. The fun starts at 10 A.M., and we never know what to expect from our kids as they remind us why Jesus was born in Bethlehem so long ago. Message me for directions.

Here is a final “Merry Christmas” picture from our girls (and Noah!).

Brian

Brian Heinen, 802 East 23rd Street, Russellville, Arkansas, 72802
479-886-0765 brheinen1@gmail.com
Follow my journey on Facebook and Twitter.

In this season of giving thanks, may you be more aware than ever of God’s love for you and His amazing grace that is offered to you.  Truly, “His love endures forever.”

Leah and I have so much to be thankful for as we approach Thanksgiving.  Our girls continue to amaze us and bless us.  Maria is a terrific student at Arkansas Tech University.  She just received news she can graduate a semester early.  She invited me to the homecoming game for ATU last month.  Rebekah drove me to the campus and Maria escorted me in as I limped up the ramp into the seating area.  Even though they lost, it was a lot of fun.  Maria continues to encourage our church family, teaching an upcoming Thanksgiving devotional and directing the Christmas play, both with her sister.

Victoria is just weeks away from finishing her student teaching.  She will be working at her alma mater, Russellville High School, in an adjunct position in the spring semester.  After that, the sky is the limit!  Her boyfriend, Noah, just landed a great job.  She is super involved during this season of school plays and Christmas concerts, and is loving every minute of it.  She surprised me by coming to our church on my birthday.

Rebekah is weeks away from finishing her internship and her Master of Social Work degree.  They will really miss her at the senior adult center where she has worked for the past year.  And she is just a few months away from marrying Tim and moving to New Jersey, where they being an exciting life and ministry together.  It looks like they have found a place to rent!  Please pray for her healing, as she continues to struggle with immune system issues that are yet to be accurately diagnosed.

Leah and I will celebrate 33 years together in a few days.  How blessed I am to have someone who radiates Jesus and encourages me with her love and wisdom.  Her health issues don’t get any better, but she continues to trust our Savior in a way that inspires me and glorifies our Lord.  Please pray for her complete healing.  We were lamenting today that her health problems and the medications she takes have robbed her of her beautiful singing voice.  Please pray that she will be able to sing again!

Many of you have asked for more information about my own health needs.  I am diagnosed with severe axonopathic polyneuropathy.  My feet have no feeling left, and my ankles and lower legs are severely numb.  My ability to drive is extremely limited and I walk like I am inebriated.  My hands have constant pins and needles pain and numbness which impact my fine motor skills.  Writing and computer work are difficult.  The symptoms continue to progress.  My wonderful team of doctors are unable to find a cause and are trying to set up an appointment with a very busy neuromuscular specialist at the medical school in Little Rock.  I have been on medical leave from work since July 1st.  That leave ended today.  Many of you know our financial difficulties over the years and realize that we do not have resources to fall back on.  I am working with a great lawyer to try to get disability, but the process seems to take forever.  (Leah does not qualify, as she does not have enough work credits.)  We survive simply because of the extreme generosity of our dear friends and family.  We are so thankful for you!  We continue to pray for our daily bread and depend upon the One who provides.  We never know how the bills this month will be paid, but He remains faithful!

I hesitate to write this, but if you feel led to give, the girls set up a Go Fund Me set up to help pay some medical and everyday living bills.  Thank you to everyone who has already given!  I am blown away by the love and support we have received.

https://www.gofundme.com/heinen-family-in-need

Leah and I were discussing the topic of thanksgiving lately.  She has lost so much because of her health trials over the years, but she remains so thankful to our Savior!  I more recently lost my mobility, my ministry, my profession, and now my ability to work and provide for my family.  I can easily begin a big pity party, but because of her example and the encouragement of Scripture, my loss is now turning into praise.  I am incredibly thankful for the little things I experience each day.  I can’t drive, but when I can walk into the backyard or across the street to go to the mailbox, I am grateful!  I can’t work, but when I can do a load of laundry my heart is filled with praise!  I can’t pastor, but when when my daughters drive me to our wonderful little church and I can expound on the good news of the gospel, I cannot help but get alone with my Lord and give Him glory!  I am so thankful for each moment’s breath, for all the wonderful people I come in contact with each day, and for the presence of my Heavenly Father who never leaves me nor forsakes me!

Some wonder why our family struggles so.  Weary friends question why the bad news never seems to go away.  Many ponder what secret sin we are harboring that has brought God’s punishment into our lives.  Others have thought out loud how weak our faith must be for our lives to be as they are.  Maybe my faith is weak, but while I may not be able to rejoice in the greatness of my faith, I do marvel at the greatness of the One who is the object of my faith.  Our family does face constant trouble, but remember the words of Jesus:  I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world (John 16:33).  You have trouble, too!  It may look different than ours, but you have it.  And when you are overwhelmed by it all, please remember the last part of the verse – we can take heart, because He has overcome the world!

Brian

Brian Heinen, 802 East 23rd Street, Russellville, Arkansas, 72802
479-886-0765    brheinen1@gmail.com
Follow my journey on Facebook and Twitter.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28–30)

From Leah:  I chose this verse to encourage you all. It has been a verse that has stuck with me for many years and means a lot to me. Blessings!

From Rebekah:  I wanted to thank all of our friends who have showered our family with encouragement, generosity, and love.  Life has been crazy this past month, but God has shown Himself faithful time and again by giving us Scripture, songs, and encouragement from loved ones to keep us going.

Dad’s health continues to deteriorate. He has been to various specialists and doctors. It is a bit discouraging to experience how long every medical process seems to take. Every new referral, every part of the disability process, and every waiting period for test results bring more questions than answers. Currently our family doctor is trying to send Daddy to UAMS for more testing to see why in the world his nerve damage is rapidly progressing.

Amidst all that chaos, life has also been moving fast for all of us girls as well! Maria is doing great in her first semester of college. She says her classes are easier than high school haha.

Victoria is so close to graduating! She will have her choral music teaching degree in December! Right now she is enjoying finishing up student teaching, leading voice and piano lessons, and giving googly love-eyes to her man. 😉

My life is revving up too! I will be done with my Masters Degree in Social Work in December. I am absolutely loving my internship working with geriatric patients, and I will miss them dearly. I also am only 91 days away from getting MARRIED to the love of my life, Timothy Thorpe!! We had a beautiful shower last weekend at Church, and it is all getting sooo real. I am blessed to have this time left with my family before moving away to be with my honey in New Jersey.

We are all in different seasons of life but God is showing Himself to be faithful in them all. Every step He proves His goodness. Every second He whispers His love. Thank you to everyone who has been a part of helping us keep our eyes on Jesus through the thick and thin of our crazy lives.

If you would please be praying for all of us in this transition and also as we face the uncertainty (money-related and otherwise) of Daddy’s medical problems we would appreciate it! Please let us know how we can pray for you too! My momma especially is a super-prayer warrior and would love to lift your needs to our loving Heavenly Father.

And if you feel led to give, we also have a Go Fund Me set up to help pay some medical and everyday living bills. Thank you to everyone who has already given! I am blown away by the love and support we have received.

https://www.gofundme.com/heinen-family-in-need  

 Now all glory to God, Who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to Him in the Church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21 NLT)

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3

Once again, as I share with family and friends the incredible ways the Lord blesses us, I must focus on how our Father has blessed our children.

Rebekah is engaged!  Our oldest is marrying Tim, an amazing gentleman who has experienced God’s grace in a life-transforming way.  They love their Savior dearly, and that love has drawn them together for a lifetime of love and service to our King.  God is good!

Victoria begins her student teaching soon in the music department of a neighboring community.  She also teaches voice lessons in a local music center.  She is in a relationship with a terrific young man, Noah.

Maria begins her first year of college in a few weeks and will be rooming with her best friend, Elizabeth.  Arkansas Tech University, watch out!

Please pray for our girls to grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus and to continue to love and serve Him faithfully all of their lives.

Also pray for Leah, who continues to battle physical issues.  She experiences constant pain and exhaustion, but shines the light of Christ every day!  Pray that she will have the health and strength to be part of wedding plans and all the other wonderful things that our girls are experiencing.

Many have asked about my own health.  I am struggling with neuropathy, which started some time ago in my feet, but is now spreading up to my knees.  I am not able to drive very well as a result.  My balance is off, and I occasionally stumble or fall.  My hands experience pain and numbness, which makes writing and turning the pages of my Bible difficult.  I sometimes drop things, including Leah’s serving bowl and platter – sorry, Sweetie!

I am under the care of four great doctors who are trying to figure things out.  My neurologist recently tripled my medication, which seems to be helping a little.  Many more tests are in my immediate future.  I have been off of work since July 1st.  Please pray for God’s provision with no paychecks and many medical bills.  And please pray I will glorify God through it all!

We so love and appreciate our many friends who faithfully pray for us and encourage us in a multitude of ways.  Please contact us with your own prayer needs and praises.  May God bless you with His presence and peace!

Brian

Brian Heinen, 802 East 23rd Street, Russellville, Arkansas, 72802
479-886-0765    brheinen1@gmail.com
Follow my journey on Facebook and Twitter.

Friends, I apologize for not writing many recent updates.  My explanation will be clarified below.

Praise God, from whom all blessings flow; Praise Him, all creatures here below; Praise Him above, ye heav’nly host; Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost! 

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!  Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits… (Psalm 103:1–2)

I want to start this update by thanking our Lord for the many blessings He has poured out upon our family!

Rebekah is really enjoying the internship for her Masters of Social Work, and is powering her way through some difficult, but rewarding final classes.  The place where she works would love to hire her upon completion, as her coworkers and clients adore her and appreciate her hard and competent work.  She is in a relationship with Tim, a young man who deeply loves Jesus.

Victoria finished her senior year at Arkansas Tech University, which included her final choir concerts and events.  She did a great job with her senior vocal recital.  This fall, she will complete her student teaching at a school in a nearby community as her Vocal Music Education program lasts 4 1/2 semesters.  She is in a relationship with Noah, a fine young man she met on the worship team at their church.

Maria graduated from Russellville High School, never earning anything but A’s her entire school career.  She also earned many scholarships that will fully pay for her education at Arkansas Tech University, which she begins in the fall.  She tearfully finished her final choir concerts and play performances at RHS, including choir trips to Washington D.C. and Carnegie Hall in New York City.

We are SO thankful to God for how he has blessed our girls!  Please pray they continue to fall in love with Jesus more every day.

Leah continues to exhibit her love for her Savior and her incredible faith in Him, in spite of her many physical challenges.  She is home-bound except for doctor appointments and choir concerts and play performances as she is able.  Please pray for God to bless her with His healing and sustaining grace.

I am blessed with a great job as hospice chaplain.  I am part of an incredible team that serves equally incredible patients and their families.  I also am thankful to shepherd a fine Cumberland Presbyterian congregation with a group of people who love Jesus and continually love our family.

I am asking prayer for myself this update, as I too am battling physical challenges.  I resigned from my denominational district position due to decline in my health.  I really loved serving our wonderful district family!  For years I struggled with non-diabetic neuropathy, which numbed my feet.  It is now spreading to my ankles, lower legs, and hands.  One of the reasons I do not do monthly updates is because computer work is more difficult with my non-cooperative fingers.  My main concern is that due to my numb feet and legs, I am now experiencing loss of balance and muscle failure that prevents me from driving.  I cannot drive when my feet cannot feel the pedals and when my feet and ankles lose control.  If I cannot drive, I cannot work or take care of my family.  Please pray for me!

We so love and appreciate our many friends who faithfully pray for us and encourage us in a multitude of ways.  Please contact us with your own prayer needs and praises.  May God bless you with His presence and peace!

Brian

Brian Heinen, 802 East 23rd Street, Russellville, Arkansas, 72802
479-886-0765    brheinen1@gmail.com
Follow my journey on Facebook and Twitter.

The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone.   Isaiah 9:2 ESV

He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken.   Isaiah 25:8 ESV

Email newsletter of the Heinen family: Brian, Leah, Rebekah, Victoria and Maria

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. (Philippians 1:3-5 ESV)

We pray for our friends and neighbors!  How can we pray for you?  Send your requests to my email address listed below.

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!  Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits… Ps 103:1-2

We have much to bless God for…

–Leah had a good report from the doctor, showing no further damage to her kidneys.  Her diabetes is under control.  She recently had to go through some tests for her heart, which all turned out well.  She has a stress test this week.  Please pray for her struggle with pain and exhaustion.

–Rebekah starts her MSW internship next week.  Please pray for her health, especially her hypothyroidism.

–Victoria continues to be involved in various leadership positions in her church.  She loves the girls in her small group!  She starts her senior year in college next week.

–Maria had a great start to her senior year in high school.  She is involved in the small group Victoria leads and also in the church where Brian is preaching.

–Brian is enjoying his part-time opportunities with hospice, with his denominational district, and with the small church where he is interim pastor.  It is amazing how many wonderful opportunities to share the love and truth of Jesus arise.  Please pray for his neuropathy in his hands and feet to be healed, as well as the wound on his foot, which has been an issue for many months.

–While we are thankful for the opportunities we have to bless our neighbors, we feel that God brought us to this neighborhood for a purpose.  Pray that we will have the time, health, energy, resources, and opportunities to reach these special people with the mercy and grace of our Savior.

—The entire family has been blessed by the encouragement, generosity, and prayers of so many friends.  Y’all have been conduits of God’s amazing grace to our lives.  We love you and appreciate you!

–The church, the Appleton Cumberland Presbyterian Church, is very responsive to the ministry of Jesus Christ that is taking place.  While the number of people in the congregation is very small in number, the hearts of the people are deeply devoted to Jesus.  Rebekah and Maria are making a real difference among the children who attend.

Brian Heinen 802 East 23rd Street, Russellville, Arkansas, 72802
479-886-0765 brheinen1@gmail.com
Follow my journey on Facebook and Twitter.

I have always valued life – or so I thought. I remember from my teen years on how I believed the Bible when it said that I was made in the image and likeness of God. I was thankful that I was “fearfully and wonderfully made” by my heavenly Father and that He had “formed and covered me in my mother’s womb.” I worked for a time at a ministry in Texas called “Last Days Ministries,” which had a branch called “Americans Against Abortion.” I served in the print shop there, and one of the most popular tracts we printed was called, “Children – Things We Throw Away.” Later, when I became a pastor, I faithfully ordered bulletin inserts for “Sanctity of Life Sunday” and preached about how God is the giver of life. I proclaimed that He alone decides when our lives begin and end. I was a hospital and nursing home chaplain and served on the ethics committee of our local hospital. I often had to help the sick and suffering see that even their lives had great value and that to end their lives prematurely would be a tragedy. Yet, none of this prepared me for that trip to my wife’s OB-GYN.

We were expecting our second child. Rebekah Hope was 2 at the time. We went to our 20 week appointment and looked forward to seeing our little one on the ultrasound. As the nurse midwife viewed the screen, I noticed that she didn’t respond to my wife’s jokes and that her face turned very pale. She excused herself and rushed out of the room. A few minutes later, she returned with the doctor, a kind immigrant from Czechoslovakia who was always smiling. He suddenly became serious and silent – until he worked up the courage to tell us the news. They couldn’t find any kidneys in our baby. As such, the amniotic fluid would not be replenished once it was used up. Without amniotic fluid, the lungs wouldn’t develop, as the lungs are strengthened when the baby in the womb breathes that life-sustaining liquid in and out. He immediately set up an appointment for us at the Ohio State Medical Center.

On our first appointment, we met with two doctors who both assumed we were coming in to set up a time to abort. They were shocked to hear my wife, Leah, explain that she believed that the same God who gave her baby life could heal her baby, but that even if He didn’t, it was not her right to end a life that He had given. They explained to her that the baby would probably be carried close to full term but would die soon after birth. Each time she felt the baby kick, she would be reminded that she was carrying a baby with a death sentence. “Why go through the heartache?” they asked her. “Why risk your own health? Why not end it now and try again?” They introduced us to a geneticist who would “test” fetuses in future pregnancies and would tell us when to abort until we could finally get one that was healthy. My wife stood firm. Over what seemed to be never-ending visits to many different doctors, the professionals realized that they couldn’t change my wife’s mind. Her courage amazed me. Her faith humbled me. We soon became a “teaching” case because of this rare disease. I looked forward to the hours of ultrasounds, realizing that seeing my daughter on the screen might be my only chance to get to know her.

Our little Christina Joy lived one hour after the delivery. She peacefully stopped breathing in our arms not long after we heard the hospital sound system play the bells that celebrated the birth of a child. We put her tiny casket in the trunk of our car and drove her to Wisconsin, where she was buried next to my brother, who had also died in infancy. Not knowing if we would be able to have more children, God has since blessed us with Victoria Grace and Maria Faith. O, how I value their precious lives! And how I value the courage of people like my wife, Leah, who have the faith and strength to live out their convictions and who stand up and let their voices be heard.

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV)

I first came upon the idea of “compassion fatigue” when I was working at a rescue mission.  Many times, those who begin serving the poor, marginalized, and wounded because of a true desire to help, after a time become cynical, suspicious, and hardened.  Sometimes dealing with difficult situations involves dealing with difficult people.  Not all those you deal with are difficult, but there are enough out there to make even the most caring grow cold.  Trying to help those truly needy means that others will take advantage of you.  It is easy to justify this “fatigue.”  After all, aren’t we told not to cast our “pearls before swine”?  Aren’t we to be “wise stewards” of our Lord’s resources?

The late Keith Green reminded us that the only way to never be taken advantage of is to never help anyone at all.  Daily, I try to ask the Lord to help my heart stay soft as I deal with people, or I fear I, too, could develop “compassion fatigue.”  And as I pray for my own heart, I am reminded that my compassionate Lord never grows tired of me.

I don’t deserve God’s grace.  When I ask for His help, it is sometimes because I got into trouble because of things I did wrong.  Maybe I didn’t act wisely.  Perhaps I made a serious mistake.  Possibly I am suffering because I sinned against the very God I am asking for rescue.  Yet He hears my cry and redeems.  I don’t receive His aid because I deserve it.  I receive it because He is longsuffering, good, kind, and merciful.

Is it a good (or even spiritual) thing to refuse to help people because they have proven they are not worthy of help?  I can hear the thoughts of some as they read these words.  “We need to be careful to give people what they need, not just what they want or are asking for.”  “If I give this person money, they will spend it on drugs.”  “Maybe this person needs to suffer the consequences of their poor choices so that they learn a lesson.”  These things can be true, and remind us that we need to help wisely.  We need to help them in a way that truly helps them.  Yet, we need to help them – not give up because we may possibly be taken advantage of.

There is even another level to this.  Let’s say that someone is trying to take advantage of you.  Let’s say they will spend what you give them on drugs.  Maybe they are hopelessly addicted because of poor choices and sin.  Do we then not help them?  Do we let them starve?

What if our judgment about them is wrong?  What if like Job’s friends, we see their suffering through the lens of our own faulty experience?  What if they are actually suffering because they are more righteous than we are?

As a pastor, I observed this problem in the church.  Often those who are needy are “put up with” impatiently by the people of God.  Sometimes needy people are helped for a time, but when they don’t experience “instant sanctification” those who are helping grow weary.  When helpers grow weary it is easy to grow distant.  They don’t make phone calls as often to check up on their “friend.”  After a while, the phone calls stop as they focus instead on people and projects that yield quicker results.  We are rightly told to focus on our strengths and not just our weaknesses if we are to accomplish more for God.  Doesn’t this also mean that we should focus on people experiencing success rather than failure?  After all, needy people drain us and take up all our time, and when we share their stories during testimony time or in our latest newsletter, it is not very impressive.  So, we ignore and then forget those who are needy.  And they silently stop attending our churches, and no one even notices.

Similarly, lately I have been contacted by pastors who were in the licensing/ordination process in various denominations.  Because they were dealing with personal or church-related problems, or even when they were faithful but were not experiencing impressive results, their mentors and leaders shifted focus to those charismatic, type-A pastors who were seen as being quite successful.  My now ex-pastor friends stopped receiving phone calls from their mentors.  They faded into the woodwork and seemingly disappeared.  And no one in their denomination/association even noticed them disappear.

I often fail God.  I often live Romans 7: “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.”  And what does God do?  Every morning, after I failed the day previously, He reminds me of Romans 8: “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”  Why does He do this?  It is because Lamentations is true: “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”  Should I not extend this same undeserved compassion that I received from God to others?