Many of you know that the past 18 months have been a bit challenging for me, as I lost the calling/career that I loved for 30 years. In addition, I have been unsuccessful in trying to find new employment. I spend most of my time looking for work. When I am not seeking a job, I pray. That pretty much summarizes my life right now.
My prayer life has gone through a few changes these past months. Here are a few things I observed:
- Prayer is truly a conversation. In fact, it is the conversational part of the most important relationship I have.
- I don’t ask for much anymore. I still ask, but most of the time is just spent in conversation.
- I pray a lot more, but I say a lot less. I spend most of the time listening.
- When I do talk, I mostly pray Scripture. Most of the words I use now are not very original.
- When I am not praying Scripture, if I am talking, I normally ask questions.
- While I ask a lot of questions, God does not give me many answers.
- When Jesus does give a response to my questions, He normally answers with another question. As I read the gospels, this is what He often did. It is amazing how often Jesus does not answer people’s questions, but instead answers with a question of His own. Sometimes He just changes the subject to talk about what is really important.
I am not sure what this says about my prayer life, but it reminds me that Jesus values the health of my soul more than the things I normally ask for.